Thirukkural Week 4

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞… 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?

A few years ago, a new member was joining my team. Many of my teammates had worked with him before, and the moment his name came up, the warnings began:

Negative stories.

Unpleasant experiences.

“Be careful with him.”

Within minutes, he was painted as a villain I had never even spoken to.

Though I was initially swayed, I took a step back and thought about how I had been judged unfairly in the past, labeled without a chance to show who I really was. Over the years, I have realized that the narrative often decides whether you are cast as the antagonist or the protagonist of the story.

The truth is, it takes just a few words to destroy someone’s reputation.

I wasn’t upset with those who shared their experiences, because their dynamics with him might have been tough. But their story didn’t have to become mine.

So I consciously decided not to be prejudiced. I told myself:

1. He may not be the same person he used to be.

2. His behaviour with others does not predict his behaviour with me.

3. I knew only one side of the story.

Then, we worked together for a few years, and surprisingly, we got along quite well. No major conflicts. Just a professional working relationship that was far better than what I had been warned about.

I am glad I stayed neutral. It allowed me to form a fresh perspective, based on firsthand experience, and not secondhand judgments.

This is exactly what Thiruvalluvar says in Kural 423:

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐈 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤 - 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝟒

எப்பொருள் யார்யார்வாய்க் கேட்பினும் அப்பொருள்

மெய்ப்பொருள் காண்ப தறிவு.

You may hear many opinions from many mouths, but real wisdom lies in seeking the truth yourself.

- Thirukkural 423

Prejudice hurts.

It is one of the most unfair and cruel acts you can do to someone.

So always believe in what you experience firsthand.

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